Pregnant mother of two refuses to let her 4-year-old join a soccer team, husband and in-laws call her selfish for not wanting to wake up early every Saturday: 'I'm at my personal capacity'

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 15, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Moms are superheroes, but even superheroes have their limits. They're expected to juggle an endless list of responsibilities, from keeping the household running to managing schedules, solving crises, and still finding time to nurture their kids. They face battles that leave them exhausted, stretched thin, and constantly pulled in multiple directions, often without even a moment to themselves. Just like comic book heroes, they have strengths, weaknesses, and moments where the weight of it all becomes overwhelming.

One mom of two kids under four years old, currently pregnant with a third, is at odds with her husband and in-laws over whether their oldest should be enrolled in sports. Her husband argues it would be good for her athletic development and socialization. However, she feels totally burnt out, balancing being a kindergarten teacher, raising two young kids, and managing narcolepsy. Saturdays are her one free day, and she's reluctant to give it up for weekly practices and games, especially since her husband's weekend work schedule means much of the responsibility would fall on her more often than not. Instead of being sympathetic, her whole support system, including her husband and in-laws, are seeing her refusal as selfish.

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  • 01

    AITA for not wanting my 4 year old daughter to join a soccer team simply because I don't want to get up early every Saturday?

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  • 02
    bandgeek_babe This. Exactly this. The people who are emotionally attached to her participating are the ones who need to be responsible for
    via u/bandgeek_babe
  • 03
    My husband has said he thinks I'm being selfish and I am. But I am being strategic here. I'm a mom of two 4 and under.
    via u/SingerDue4540
  • 04
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    via MilosStankovic from Getty Images Signature

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  • 05
    Currently 5months pregnant. Im a kindergarten teacher and I have narcolepsy....so needless to say I'm tired all the time. Saturday is
    via u/SingerDue4540
  • 06
    the one day in my week where there are no set plans and I like it that way. Why do I need to ruin the one day I get to choose what
    via u/SingerDue4540
  • 07
    I want to do, just so my 4 year old who probably won't know what she is missing can go play a sport she probably isn't ready to play anyway. She has years to
    via u/SingerDue4540
  • 08
    pick up a hobby/extracurricular. I just don't see the point right now other than to stress me out even more than I already am. Point
    via u/SingerDue4540
  • 09
    blank I'm just tired and don't want to so I can't even say it's not selfish but we are aloud to be selfish on some things and I feel
    via u/SingerDue4540
  • 10
    justified because I'm at my personal capacity. My husband won't even be able to help with every game because he sometimes works weekend so no
    via u/SingerDue4540
  • 11
    I'm not interested in putting my kids in sports right now because I will likely flake on those days he works. Also we live in a very hot
    via u/SingerDue4540
  • 12
    state I have zero interest in spending more time outside than I have to. My husband's reasoning is he wants her to be
    via u/SingerDue4540
  • 13
    athletic and mostly that she will make friends and have fun socializing. I'd rather help her socialize through play dates not a
    via u/SingerDue4540
  • 14
    weekly commitment to be on a team. My in laws have made it clear they agree that it would be good for her and I'm being unfair.
    via u/SingerDue4540
  • 15
    My family thinks it's not that important right now at 4 but say she would have fun. So what do you think? AITA?
    via u/SingerDue4540

  • Growing up, I was only allowed to do one extracurricular at a time. I thought it was pretty unfair then, but I realize now that every after school activity or sport not only cost money, but my parents' time to get me there and back and help prep me.

  • 16
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  • 17
    swiftiebookworm22 If the in-laws think soccer is so important, they can volunteer to drive her to and from her games + practices. Problem solved! NTA
    via u/swiftiebookworm22
  • 18
    it. She's 4. She's not the one who cares, lol There are plenty of ways for her to be active and socialize. It's not exclusive to soccer on Saturdays.
    via u/bandgeek_babe
  • 19
    There will be plenty of opportunities for sports in the future that don't involve you sacrificing your mental health and well being. Time for you is important too.
    via u/bandgeek_babe
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    via Lukas from Pexels

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  • 21
    PrincessCG 100%. I don't understand why everyone is suggesting OOP does it when there's 3 other capable adults to step in.
    via u/PrincessCG
  • 22
    Disastrous-Soup-5413 Not only offer to drive her to and from there, they need to come earlier, get her dressed, pack her lunch or snacks her water
    via u/Disastrous-Soup-5413
  • 23
    bottle and her extra set of clothes if she needs some and then take her and then they need to bring her back and unpack everything
    via u/Disastrous-Soup-5413

  • Right, it sounds someone else needs to step up here. Honestly, even beyond the whole soccer thing, this mom is very burnt out and has way too much on her plate!

  • 24
    Ambitious_Client6545 NTA. If your husband or in laws think it's that important, they can take her. I'm sure she'd have fun and it'd help her learn instruction
    via u/Ambitious_Client6545
  • 25
    and structured play, which is great! But she'll be better off having a mom who's as rested as possible with two small children and a pregnancy.
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  • 26
    I have two under three and just being pregnant with one toddler was like living in zombie mode for
    via u/Ambitious_Client6545
  • 27
    9 months. Can't imagine another one in the mix. Take care of yourself so that you can give your babies the best version of you.
    via u/Ambitious_Client6545
  • 28
    Ok-Calligrapher1345 Well if you have 2 kids, another on the way, AND your husband won't be able to take her to the games. I don't really see how you could possibly sign her up. NTA
    via u/Ok-Calligrapher1345
  • 29
    If you can get grandparents to agree to help out that might be ideal, but if you don't have family support, 3 kids is gonna be rough.
    via u/Ok-Calligrapher1345

Tags

toddler married with children married life parenting couples dad mother in law grandparents pregnant raising kids mom parents entitled people
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